How to avoid temptation during dry January | Abi Wilkinson

There’s no better time to try and quit booze than in January. Following weeks of festive over-indulgence, at least some of the people around you are also likely to be thinking about cutting down. Requesting a lime and soda rather than your usual gin and tonic when someone gets a round often elicits an understanding nod. “Dry January, is it?” The best option in this scenario is to simply smile in agreement. The alternative, as I learned the hard way, is awkwardly attempting to explain why you’re hoping to make it a permanent thing, as your conversational partner decides whether to feel pitying or judged.

Perhaps we should be encouraged to talk about the issue more openly. As things are, though, telling people on a boozy night out that you think you were developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol tends to go down like a lead balloon. Though it never became the kind of dependency that requires professional intervention, over the past year or so I found myself relying on booze to lift my mood. The combination of Brexit, Trump, Labour politics and personal issues left me feeling hopeless and depressed. I began to fixate on the issue of climate change and the details of a potential future apocalypse. Only when I had a few drinks inside me did I feel capable of switching off.

It doesn’t help that my friends are used to me being the first to suggest a round of shots or a third bottle of wine

Over Christmas I came down with flu and spent a couple of weeks laid up in bed. I realised that increased drinking probably hadn’t left me in peak physical condition, and by the time I felt well again I was determined to keep it that way. The idea of risking a hangover filled me with dread. I also figured out that my political despair was exacerbated because I also felt I’d lost control over my own life, and that alcohol was part of the problem. It was a vicious circle I was determined to break and new year seemed like an obvious time to start.

I quickly stopped trying to explain my reasoning to enquiring acquaintances. The popularity of dry January has definitely made it easier to decline booze without awkwardness, but there have been a couple of incidents where I’ve had to stand my ground. It doesn’t help that so many of my friends are relatively heavy drinkers – nor that they’re used to me being the first to suggest a round of shots or a third bottle of wine.

I’ve discovered that the best option is to be proactive. If I’m going somewhere where people are drinking, I’ll mentally prepare for being pressured to participate and think about how to avoid temptation. It’s only been a couple of weeks so far, but I’ve found a few tactics that might be helpful for others:

1. Make sure you’ve always got a (soft) drink in your hand

This is simple but effective. It’s not just because of the alcohol that drinking works as a social lubricant – taking a sip is also an effective way to fill any awkward gaps in conversation, and going to the bar provides a handy exit strategy if you’re feeling trapped. Holding a drink also gives you something to do with your hands, which is more useful than I’d previously appreciated. What’s more, when someone’s getting a round in you can simply to point to your almost full glass. No awkward explanation required.

2. Realise you can still have fun

At the age of 26 I’ve made a miraculous discovery: I don’t actually have to be drunk to dance in public. When everyone around you is feeling happy and unselfconscious, it’s surprisingly easy to catch their good mood. (Especially when you remember that you’re the only one who’s not going to wake up with a headache.) If you’re heading to an event where people will be drinking, go with the expectation that you’ll enjoy yourself. Otherwise, what’s the point?

3. If you’re not going to have fun, don’t bother going out

If you’re feeling tired, anxious or stressed, step two might work. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood to socialise. My previous approach to this situation involved quickly downing a couple of drinks in an attempt to get in the mood, but I’ve realised I’m far better off making my excuses and curling up at home with Netflix and a takeaway. If you get somewhere and realise you’re not feeling it, it’s fine to prioritise your own wellbeing and slip off early.

4. Find social activities that don’t involve drinking

If, like me, your social life tends to mainly revolve around the pub, consider having a go at something else. Your friends might drag their feet a little, but if you’re prepared to do most of the organising, most people can be roped in. Art galleries and museums, the cinema, rollerskating, bowling – going out for food also makes alcohol less of a focus. Along with a couple of female friends, I’ve started regularly visiting the local Turkish baths.

5. Come up with alternative ways to reward yourself

Overexcited by various “new year, new you” guides, I originally considered cutting out sugar at the same time as quitting alcohol. This was a terrible idea. Whenever I had a difficult day and wanted to treat myself for getting through it, my usual solution was to reach for the bottle. Failing that, I’d opt for a bar of chocolate or a slice of cake. If I tried to drop both at once I’d be setting myself up to fail. Whether it’s sugar, video games or watching Ryan Gosling films, it helps to find alternate ways to give yourself a dopamine hit.

How to avoid temptation during dry January | Abi Wilkinson

Realizing how extended we"ll reside will not finish the pension pot temptation | Pat Thane

‘Those who select to blow their savings on a Lamborghini may not be conscious how miserable the state pensions will be.’ Photograph: Pearl Bucknall/Alamy

Pensions minister Steve Webb’s suggestion that older folks will require to know how prolonged they are likely to reside – if they are going to decide no matter whether to invest their pension pots on a Lamborghini or an annuity – helps make evident sense, at least in principle. Most folks most likely will not realise how fast existence expectancy has grown in current many years. They may not be conscious how miserable the state pensions will be if they select to blow their pension cost savings on the Lamborghini, or even the much a lot more modest auto that is in fact affordable from the common pension pot.

As Stuart Jeffries has pointed out, the OECD says that British state pensions are amid the lowest in the created globe. They will rise in 2016, but they will nonetheless lag far behind comparable nations. Then there are the costs of care for individuals who require it in later daily life. These selections are challenging for individuals, and the selections for females are particularly constrained.

The Office for National Statistics has just reported that common existence expectancy at birth is now 78.9 for males and 82.seven for girls. For the excellent majority who survive to 65, it is even higher: 83.two for men, 85.9 for females. The averages hide massive distinctions amongst richer and poorer individuals and areas. A 65-12 months-outdated ladies in prosperous Camden, where I reside in north London, can assume to live to 88.eight, males of the exact same age in Glasgow just to 79.9. But even that is a extended time for men, and they are unlikely to have Lamborghini-sized pension pots.

Nor will the great majority of women. Ladies persistently reside longer than males. So far as any person is aware of, we always have. But, just as consistently, females develop up smaller pensions than guys since most earn less and perform fewer many years, then they have to live on their pensions for longer. So ladies especially need to plan carefully.

It is also essential to know that wholesome lifestyle expectancy is rising. This is why state pension ages are due to rise to 67 for males and girls by 2028. Most folks in their 60s are massively fitter now than ever prior to and can be expected to operate longer.

But even here, there are still big gaps between men and females, wealthy and bad, north and south. The ONS reported last 12 months that healthy life expectancy at birth in Richmond-upon-Thames is 70.three for men, 72.one for women in Manchester it is only fifty five for men, in Tower Hamlets just 54.1 for females. A report for the government by Sir Michael Marmot in 2010 discovered that 20% of people weren’t fit to hold functioning even to 65.

So yes, we need to have to know how long we will dwell, and the different graphs may possibly aid a tiny, but we also want to know how extended we will remain match and energetic.

Steve Webb suggests that we can get professional advice on our probabilities given our gender, postcode, state of overall health and lifestyle. But he also rightly factors out that the figures will, once more, be averages, subject to variation about the norm. And how simple will it be to access the guidance? Will it be cost-free? Will it even be compulsory? If it is neither, it may possibly be accessed only by the most cautious men and women who wouldn’t threat their pension pots anyway.

A lengthy active lifestyle soon after retirement is a new notion for human beings, and we do require to put together for it. There is no doubt that people encounter difficult options. But for most older people it is not a selection in between a posh car and an annuity. More likely, it is in between paying instant debts and expenses rather than contemplating about an uncertain potential.

Or, as really many retired individuals previously do, it will be a option also to assist kids and grandchildren to get or rent properties, shell out university fees, or for other urgent needs. That will be the real temptation as soon as they can accessibility their pension cost savings, no matter what they hear about daily life expectancy.

Realizing how extended we"ll reside will not finish the pension pot temptation | Pat Thane