The thing that keeps me going in my job as a doctor are the patients. There are days, no matter how dark, where certain ones shine like stars – their strength glows when you least expect it.
These star patients take you by surprise and never leave you. They become your guiding lights through this challenging and rewarding career. Every day a patient moves me. However, there are some extra special ones who stand out, like the teenager who was told she’ll never have children or the man who wasn’t suitable for urgent treatment for his heart attack. I later received a letter of thanks from his bereaved daughters for telling them this difficult news.
Star patients humbly remind you what a privilege it is to do this job
The patient I have been thinking about most recently is one I met while doing an A&E shift. He was an elderly gentleman wearing a pristine, tailored, brown-checked suit with polished brown shoes with leather soles. He wore a shining silk tie and handkerchief bursting like a blossom from his pocket. Beside him was his wife who was as well dressed and stylish. Both were waiting patiently, watching the hustle and bustle around them. Seeping from his brow and smooth grey hair were floods of bright red blood.
I was too busy to pay them any more attention until, by chance, he became my patient. He’d been at a family wedding and was hundreds of miles from home. Bending down in the car park a car had reversed into his head. The couple had driven themselves to hospital, rather than call an ambulance. I completed my assessment, did a neurological exam and he was rushed for an urgent CT scan of his head and neck.
It turned out he was a retired consultant haematologist. While waiting for the scan results he told me about his career and his love of the job. I felt stupid discussing with him the risks of head injuries.
As a young adult he’d been diagnosed with a significant malformation of his brain. His CT scan was one of the most shocking I had seen, huge gaps in places there should have been brain tissue. There was an audible gasp when I had his image up in the doctors’ station.
He later told me: “As a young man I was told I could die at anytime. I’ve lived my life like that and I’m still here. I’m 83 and I’ve had a great, great life. Look at this woman, my wife, my love.”
He told me how he’d enjoyed training doctors and watching them grow and how he as an old man needed these doctors now. He spoke with such truth and honesty, I blinked back the tears. I saw in him my late grandfather whom I loved so dearly. I saw how medicine is a career of sharing knowledge, an apprenticeship and teaching of the next generation. I felt the stories of patients he had cared for, lives this man had touched. I had no doubt that this was one special doctor.
I explained that I would like to keep him in hospital for a period of observation. “Absolutely not,” he told me. “I’m going home. If I die in one hour, one week or one year from now, I’m more than happy to take that chance.” I told him I would have to discharge him against medical advice.
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Sometimes we doctors completely understand when people just want to go home against advice. Sometimes no treatment is the best treatment. I completed my capacity assessments, mental state exams and sutured his head. And there he was, gracious, grateful and inspiring. I asked if there was anything else I could do. He said he wanted to see a scan of his brain because he had never seen one. After some organisation I gave him a copy and he was delighted.
I watched he and his wife leave in their blood-stained wedding outfits. He held the door open for her and I saw their love for each other. I was having a bad day until he came into it like a shining light.
These star patients humbly remind you what a privilege it is to do this job. Stories of lives lived, personal experiences. We see lives saved and stars blinking their last light. I hope he is still shining his shoes somewhere, drinking tea with his wife and looking at his scan. I hope to endeavour to be like him as a person and a doctor. Even in his retirement he was a glowing example of how a good person, a good doctor, should be.
Some details have been changed
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The patient who showed me how to be a better doctor and person
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