Growing up is tough enough for any young person approaching puberty. But for Aimee Challenor the challenges she faced as a 10-year-old were much harder: “It struck me when I was about 10 or 11 that I was a girl. I couldn’t put my finger on it but something wasn’t right. I was in year 6 and I left my parents a letter on their bed before I went to school one morning. When we talked about it later they were very supportive, but no one knew what trans was. So I went back into the closet.”
During the next six years Challenor, now 19, felt anxious, isolated, lonely and depressed. “I spent my time at secondary school feeling pressured by society to be somebody that I was not. I wasn’t able to be myself; there was always that nagging feeling at the back of my head, so I didn’t take opportunities and grab them. I didn’t reach my potential and my education suffered as a result.”
It wasn’t until her school graduation prom that she decided to come out as trans: “It was then that articles about trans started to appear and I discovered that there was a word for it. I found the trans guide published by the Tavistock and Portman NHS foundation trust and decided to come out at my prom – it was the day before I was due to leave school.”
Her mum helped her with her dress and one of her school’s teachers did her makeup on the night: “Some of the staff were very supportive, but they were not in the school leadership team. Generally, I didn’t get any support from my school – it wasn’t up to speed on the Equality Act and they wouldn’t let me wear a dress to the prom because they thought it was unnecessary attention seeking; they said it made the school look stupid. But I dug my heels in. I was incredibly nervous on the night, but it felt so positive – for me it reinforced what was right.”
Challenor is in the process of transitioning from male to female but feels “in limbo” as she waits to continue adult gender identity services: “I’ve been out now for three years and publicly present as female, but I wish I could have come out younger and not have had to wait until I completed puberty.”
Today Challenor speaks on LGBTIQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and questioning) issues for the Green Party in England and Wales and also contributed to charity Stonewall’s Vision for Change report, published in April, which spells out what still needs to be done to deliver equality for the UK’s trans community. Challenor says: “I speak to schools about trans issues and I am the first openly trans person to work for a political party. I think trans [people] need to show that you can be trans and reach your potential.”
Growing up transgender: ‘I wish I could have come out younger’
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