Why is it harder for women to orgasm? A hands-on episode of Vagina Dispatches

Hello!

Here’s the rub: no matter where you stroke or poke, coming can be tricky for some of us. The fact is, men are more likely to orgasm – but did you ever wonder why it’s so difficult for women? We tried to find out in episode three of our video series Vagina Dispatches, which we launched today.

Vagina Dispatches episode three: the orgasm gap

Both Mae and I have found this tricky (and so did the neuroscientist we spoke to, and the pelvic floor therapist, and the sex educator) but that doesn’t mean we can’t work at it. If you can relate, or if you tried out some of our handy tips we mention in the video we want to hear from you. Email us at vaginadispatches@theguardian.com. Don’t worry, we won’t share anything you tell us without your permission.

If you’re reading this and haven’t already signed up for the newsletter, you can do so here.

Bloody vaginas

In episode two, we talked about menstruation – or, rather, the lack thereof. We interviewed Dr Coutinho who felt that having periods is unnatural and spoke to artist Jenn Lewis, who strongly disagreed. A number of commenters were inclined to agree with Jenn, as they wrote in to tell us:

The first episode in this series was about appreciating the natural beauty of the vulva. Having a period is natural, too.

– Camille (on Facebook)

Mae and I explain in the video that we have a hormonal IUD which stops our periods. Viewers also had some valuable thoughts about this method of contraception:

I wanted to point out that there are IUDs that aren’t hormonal and don’t affect the period. I have used a copper IUD (commercial name Paragard) for years and years, I love it because it very effectively and conveniently does the job of birth control and does not change my hormonal balance in the process. Your show gives the impression that IUDs are beneficial because they affect your hormones and stop your periods, first and foremost. Because some women don’t want to tamper with their hormones, you may be discouraging them from IUD use.

It’s true. And we’re reading through all of your responses, questions, and concerns about stopping your periods – and taking them very seriously. In fact, we are compiling a list we plan to present to a doctor. So please keep them coming! Here are a few examples:

• “I’m a pro-sex feminist and joyfully celebrate women and men who don’t want to be parents. And as a woman who had my daughters when I was 37 and 39, I feel very lucky that the plumbing still worked. Not sure it would have, if I’d stopped my period.”– Kathleen, via email


• “I recently read a science reporter’s article about menstruation being so very helpful in removing excess iron in women’s blood that the male scientist involved in the study chose to get bloodletting every other month for a similar outcome … I wonder now if the health problems I had early in life might not have been exacerbated by the fact that I had so few periods, sometimes only two a year.”– Anonymous, via email


• “Is there any scientific research that is been done to understand painful menstruation in women?” – Victoria from Togo, west Africa

Our colleague Aliza Aufrichtig (otherwise known as the brains behind the giant vulva wall) was especially interested in that last one. In her words:

I started having two-week-long periods accompanied by cramps so bad I couldn’t move for days. I bled heavily for 12 to 30 days at a time, often with only days of a break in between. Put another way, the average ovulating woman has bled for a total of nearly one year since the 2012 election but I’ve nearly doubled that. Added together, I’ve had my period for longer than Trump’s presidential campaign. Hard to say which is worse.

Aliza did some digging and turns out, there’s a dearth of research on painful periods.

And – even though no one has specifically asked the question – I started wondering about how your period affects your sex drive. It turns out, it does.

Please forward this message along and share episode three to help spread the genital knowledge. And if you’re enjoying this series, please support our work with a contribution or by becoming a member.

Got more? Email us at vagina.dispatches@theguardian.com. Especially about orgasms.

Sorry Mum,

Mona & Mae

We’ve got nearly 18,000 vulvas on the great wall! Photograph: Vagina Dispatches

Why is it harder for women to orgasm? A hands-on episode of Vagina Dispatches

Vagina Dispatches episode three: the orgasm gap – video

Women are less likely to orgasm than men – but is it really more difficult for women? There’s still ambiguity about what the female orgasm even is, let alone how to have one. In episode three of Vagina Dispatches, we (Mona and Mae) go into the lab with a neuroscientist who measures orgasms. Then we speak to a psychologist, a sex educator and a pelvic floor therapist to find out how we can increase our sexual pleasure, and our chances of coming

Vagina Dispatches episode three: the orgasm gap – video

Vagina Dispatches: episode one - the vulva

Think you know about vaginas? Think again. In the four-part series running from now through November, we find out that even the most basic of body knowledge is lacking – people still don’t understand what vaginas look like or how they function. In episode one, we build a giant vulva, then talk to a gynecologist, a labiaplasty surgeon and a trans woman, to find out what vulvas really look like.

WARNING: contains images of vulvas and strong language

If you want to get in touch with questions or comments for us, please write to vagina.dispatches@theguardian.com.

Stay tuned for episode two.

Mona & Mae

Vagina Dispatches: episode one - the vulva

The day I removed a toy dinosaur from a woman"s vagina

As student nurses, we pick one of our 2nd-12 months placements and are recommended to go into an location that interests us most. I chose to do a 5-week stint in a sexual wellness clinic. Sexual health clinics are magical areas in which surprises spring from the walls. I once walked into work to find an aggressive looking – but pretty – nurse loudly spelling the word “gonorrhoea” down the telephone although slurping white sizzling chocolate from a mug with the c-word on it. All before seven.30am.

I manufactured specific friends with a doctor – we’ll phone him Dr Ray. He was a genial Nigerian guy who possessed the sense of abandon that could only arise from being a married religious specialist who has noticed a lot more vaginas than Charlemagne. Dr Ray asked me to lead a couple of his appointments he had a ton of paperwork to get by way of and was faced with acquiring it completed or really seeing his individuals (thank you NHS management). He suggests an apparent win-win circumstance: we both sit in the consulting room, I foremost the appointments and he sitting in the corner, quietly knuckling down to his paperwork but on hand must I need him.

I am chuffed – I’m even now a pupil, I’ve never ever run a clinic before and it’s fantastic encounter. We very carefully choose my initial ever patient, paying specific attention to the age and gender. She’s in her 50s, which would recommend she’s unlikely to have something specifically unusual going on. Pompously, I walk into the waiting room and contact her name. As she gets up and walks in excess of, I recognize a peculiar gait: “Thrush” I feel, “She’s clearly acquired a actually nasty bout of thrush.” Other than the hobble, she seems to be totally standard.

As soon as in the space, I make clear who I am, who Dr Ray is, and how we will go about issues. I ask her about her sexual background, whether she has youngsters and so forth. She tells me in a clipped accent that she’s been married for twenty years and has two younger kids. She hasn’t slept with anyone else since acquiring married. “Thrush!” I smugly congratulate myself. “Irrefutably thrush.”

“So what brings you here right now, Mrs T?” I request, demurely. “Well” she commences, shifting her place and wincing, “I was taking part in with my son’s dinosaur, and it is stuck.”

We come encounter to encounter with Rex, who is poised for battle with my forceps, claws up, as it were

“OK, Mrs T, but why are you in the sexual wellness clinic right now?” I continue, somewhat bemused.

“It’s caught,” she repeats, providing me a pointed seem.

There is a extended pause, the penny’s even now in the air for me, but I can see the outline of Dr Ray’s shoulders silently heaving as he is made up of his giggles.

“I’m even now not very with you. Can you elaborate on that please?” I inquire.

“It’s a T-Rex,” she adds. She gestures helplessly in direction of her crotch and looks stricken. “It’s caught.” The penny finally drops.

I am overwhelmed with a range of inquiries but, understandably, misplaced for phrases. At this level Dr Ray interjects and suggests we get our patient on to the sofa. Speculum in, we come face to face with Rex, who is poised for battle with my forceps, claws up, as it had been. There is a element of the female anatomy referred to as the posterior fornix, a minor trench, correct up by the cervix – “whose anatomical purposes, among other individuals, include pooling sperm” I feel to myself. This bad tiny fornix had pooled a 5cm tall toy T-Rex (produced in China). Rexy had managed to get lodged so when searching towards the cervix using a speculum you could just see his head and front claws over this anatomical parapet.

Right after some deft manoeuvring with the forceps and a prophylactic course of antibiotics, the offending item was deposited in the medical waste bin. One of the very best sentences I have ever uttered as a nurse, scratch that, 1 of the greatest sentences I’ve ever said, is: “I really don’t advise inserting children’s toys during sexual action, even so if you do choose to masturbate with a toy dinosaur, I advocate acquiring your own, and maybe putting it in a condom, or tying a leash to its foot.”

Connected: General practice might seem to be like a circus act but the display must go on

The lady nods appreciatively and hobbles off. Dr Ray and I wait in silence, poised until finally she’s safely out of earshot, before we both break down with laughter. It took each and every ounce of my power to stay professional that day, and I realized never to pre-empt patients or their circumstances again.

If you would like to publish a piece for our new series Blood, sweat and tears, study our recommendations and get in touch by emailing healthcare@theguardian.com.

Join our network to read much more pieces like this. And follow us on Twitter (@GdnHealthcare) to preserve up with the newest healthcare news and views.

• The author writes beneath a pseudonym

The day I removed a toy dinosaur from a woman"s vagina

Young women steer clear of discussing sex with GP above fears of saying "vagina" and "orgasm"

Youthful ladies are staying away from medical aid simply because they are too embarrassed to go over gynaecological problems with their physicians, in accordance to a new examine.

Out of 1,000 women surveyed, those aged amongst 18-24 had been four times significantly less likely to go to a medical professional about a sexual wellness issue than females aged in between fifty five-64.

Two thirds of youthful females said they’re be embarrassed to say the word ‘vagina’, or ‘orgasm’ to their medical professional.

A lot more than half have been self-conscious about saying ‘discharge’ although 60 per cent didn’t want to say ‘labia’.

A quarter of younger girls averted their physician purely because they did not know what phrases to use, while 44 per cent did so out of a reluctant to talk about sexual well being concerns.

• Catch ovarian cancer before the disease catches you

Virtually half have been so scared of getting intimately examined that they didn’t go to the physician.

British charity Ovarian Cancer Action, which commissioned the survey, located 57 per cent of younger women have been turning to Google rather of their GP.

Just 17 per cent would seek out health-related aid if they had any gynaecological signs, in contrast to 68 per cent of older females.

Katherine Taylor, acting chief executive at Ovarian Cancer Action, mentioned: “The reluctance to see a medical doctor for gynaecological issues is really worrying and, while numerous of us have turned to the world wide web for help, googling symptoms is not a substitute for correct health care consideration.

“Illnesses this kind of as ovarian cancer – which kills a female every single two hours in the United kingdom – is considerably less difficult to treat if it’s diagnosed early, so it is extremely important that ladies really feel empowered to speak about their well being and truly feel cozy visiting healthcare specialists.

“We really don’t want to be scaremongers – ovarian cancer is fairly unusual in younger girls – but we do want to motivate ladies to speak about gynaecological health and aid spread awareness of the signs of ovarian cancer. These are, persistent bloating, peeing a lot more typically, persistent tummy soreness and feeling total far more rapidly.

“It’s so essential that females are empowered to discuss these concerns. Saying ‘vagina’ will not destroy you, but staying away from saying it could.”

Much more than a third of young ladies were unable to recognize a symptom of ovarian cancer, and only 11 per cent stated realizing their family members historical past would inspire them to look for tips – even however twenty per cent of ovarian cancers are a end result of a genetic predisposition.

Ovarian cancer is the most deadly gynaecological cancer and at the moment the fifth most frequent cancer between ladies.

There are 7,000 new diagnoses every single 12 months right here in the Uk – and we have one particular of the lowest survival charges in Western Europe, with a girl dying from ovarian cancer each and every two hours, which quantities to four,300 deaths each and every year.

• Improve in number of younger British women currently being diagnosed with cervical cancer

‘I had ovarian cancer aged 19’

Ellie Cohen, 23

Ellie Cohen, 23, from London stated: “I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when I was just 19 and it turned my existence upside down. I had to leave uni so I could have chemotherapy close to my parents’ home in London.

“It took a even though to get a diagnosis, almost certainly since I was so youthful. No person suspected cancer.

“Although I am performing nicely now, this knowledge has genuinely taught me the importance of speaking up about overall health troubles. It’s so essential that we pay attention to our bodies and don’t let shyness hold us back – it’s assured that the medical professional has heard it all ahead of anyway.

“Now, if I come to feel the slightest twinge, I’m back to the medical professionals. That’s what saved my daily life final time and, as the previous adage goes, it’s far better to be risk-free than sorry.”

Young women steer clear of discussing sex with GP above fears of saying "vagina" and "orgasm"

Theres a fitness tracker for your vagina. Quantifying your lifestyle has gone as well far | Jess Zimmerman

The other night, a pal told me that he was attempting to devote much more time taking cabs. This stunned me, due to the fact I happen to know this pal has a Fitbit, and that he is rather proud of how far he’s walked underneath its watchful electronic eye. (I’m currently being polite: you by no means just “occur to know” that a buddy has a Fitbit because they tell you on social media.)

The Fitbit – if you have somehow managed to keep away from this – is a small dingus that information how a lot of methods you consider in a day and makes it possible for you to compete with your friends for the most measures or to post the final results to social media. Aficionados will happily march aimlessly up and down the hallway if it signifies narrowly edging out the next competitor on their leaderboard.

So why was a stage-counting devotee actively striving to walk significantly less? “Look,” he told me, “not all my sneakers are cozy. Some of them are genuinely great. If I stroll too far in nice footwear, my feet harm. So, I’m attempting to consider cabs.”

It may be the 1st time I have heard a Fitbit consumer say one thing akin to “I’m not going to stroll more right now, because I don’t want to.”

The Fitbit may possibly have been the 1st tracker of its sort to go truly massive – even though pedometers have been around for a even though – but it has certainly numerous cousins. There are units to track your rest patterns (even though Fitbits will do this as nicely), to hold an eye on your posture, to keep track of your dog’s exercise levels, to analyze the fuel efficiency of your car or tweet your bodyweight.

Probably emboldened by this profusion of curiosity in data, last month a firm named Mark 1 launched the Vessyl, a cup that analyzes the nutritional content of something you put in it and tracks your sugar, caffeine, and water consumption. And the KGoal, touted as a “Fitbit for your vagina”, is at the moment crowdfunding on Kickstarter. The latter gadget seems to be like a silicone hand grenade and is made to record your progress as you do kegels, the workout for pelvic floor muscles that ladies do to boost childbirth, continence and – most importantly, in my viewpoint – sexual pleasure. To emphasize that advantage, the KGoal even vibrates when you happen to be carrying out your workouts right.

Like the Fitbit, these newest overall health trackers never come low cost the Vessyl has a $ 99 promotional price and you can preorder a KGoal for $ 125, however the projected retail prices are $ 199 and $ 175, respectively. But, hey, how much is also significantly to spend to know that you are drinking a soda or clenching your vag?

This stuff all sounds a bit silly, but I’m not ample of a curmudgeon to really bemoan our nationwide data fixation. It truly is often simpler to understand what to do with information than to evaluate how you feel, and devices that can quantify your strolling or blood strain or vaginal strength allow you consider advantage of that. If paying $ 199 on a cup or $ 175 on a vagina grenade is the shortcut you require to produce and pay out interest to your caloric intake and pelvic floor muscle tissues, for instance, then godspeed.

Plus, human brains respond directly to suggestions about bodily functions: watching your heartbeat tracked on a monitor, for instance, provides you the potential to consciously slow them down with uncanny ease, via which you can ultimately develop into a coping method for anxiety attacks and deal with anger.

Having entry to biofeedback – actual-time data about your body’s working – has been shown to aid folks manage migraines, higher blood stress and even epileptic seizures. It is a potent adequate phenomenon that L Ron Hubbard basically based mostly a total religion on it: Scientology’s e-meter is a biofeedback device. And, in the 1940s, Dr Arnold Kegel invented a biofeedback gadget to help woman increase their pelvic floor muscle workouts and manage urinary handle – an apparent precursor to the kGoal, and the quite origin of the phrase “kegels”.

But the pitfall of information products – and the external sharing of info that they motivate or need – is that they hijack your reward pathways. Instead of strolling because it tends to make you feel excellent, or since it will get you out in the air or (my personalized favored explanation) since occasionally there is bonkers things to see in amongst stage A and point B, you walk in order to increase your stats. This sometimes means you stroll even if it’s a negative concept – if your sneakers harm, if you happen to be not feeling effectively, if it really is dangerously hot, if you happen to be running late – simply because performing otherwise will mean a black mark on your record. Your stats will slide, and your stats (and the potential to brag about them on social media) are your reward.

One particular pal tells me that, when her workplace did a stage-counting competitors, she was initially distressed due to the fact she could not alter the pedometer’s minimal “accomplishment” condition under 10,000 actions: she has fibromyalgia and is not always up for that a lot strolling every day. But, chastened by her colleagues’ successes, she ended up striving valiantly to make the day-to-day minimum – and subsequently spent at least one day per weekend asleep for most of the day, and had to take added medicine for ache in her legs and feet.

The quantified self breaks down into numbers – and there’s value to that – but it takes the aggregate self out of the equation. Focusing on the numbers our routines generate skips above how we feel and how we perform – and it gets genuinely easy to overlook about that fully simply because neither figures in to your score.

I am a large fan of each strolling and kegels (and I’m not genuinely worried that anyone is going to vaginacize herself into exhaustion). But I do have misgivings about the aggressive psychological weirdness that piggybacks on genuinely valuable biofeedback.

And it truly is not just weird for customers, either: it is also often very weird for their social media pals. Numerous pedometers and other quantification equipment are created to be linked to your Twitter or Facebook accounts, the two to place pressure on end users to preserve going, and to advertise the product (and to peer strain) their buddies. And while the KGoal isn’t made to tweet your final results automatically, or even maintain track of who’s winning between your close friends the way Fitbit can – fortunately – I truthfully would not be shocked if competitive types started out sharing their kegel strength progress.

All that biofeedback suggestions can be oppressive – your close friends are dragooned into the competitors, at least as spectators, no matter whether they want to participate or not – and it’s boring as hell. I can totally comprehend the power of seeing your self represented in numbers, but it’s the height of narcissism to believe that everyone else wants to stand there up coming to you and gaze at your data avatar.

Even now, I am not interested in telling men and women to cast off their health-robot chains. Biofeedback information is too seductive to root out, and also beneficial to really want to. So engineers, get at me: what we require is a quantified happiness tracker. Your stats increase when you walk to somewhere lovely alternatively of marching in place at your desk, or use the KGoal purely for its vibration “rewards”, or get a cab when your feet hurt.

And each and every time you don’t publish the final results to social media, the app offers you a big gold star.

Theres a fitness tracker for your vagina. Quantifying your lifestyle has gone as well far | Jess Zimmerman

KGoal: introducing the fitness tracker for your vagina

It can already stream the internet straight to your face, vibrate around your waist when you’re slouching and track your health using only your wrist. Now, wearable technology is getting even more intimate and attempting to conquer the final frontier: the vagina.

Recently launched on Kickstarter, the KGoal Smart Kegel Trainer, produced by San Fransisco-based sexual health startup Minna Life, describes itself as a “Fitbit for your vagina,” an interactive device to guide, measure and track pelvic floor muscle exercise. It takes the form of a squeezable silicone pillow, connected to a smartphone app, that measures your “clench strength” and feeds the data back to a smartphone app via Bluetooth. It also has an internal motor for “real time vibrational biofeedback.”

“Pelvic floor muscles are one of the most important, yet least appreciated, parts of the body,” says the product’s designer, Grace Lee, in the promotional video. “But many people never think about exercising them.” Running from the pubic bone to the base of the spine, the sling-shaped muscles hold the bladder and urethra in place, controlling urination. Critically important during and after pregnancy, they can often be damaged during childbirth, leading to incontinence and reduced pleasure during sex.

“30% of women need direct feedback to perform a pelvic floor muscle contraction correctly,” says the company’s pelvic floor specialist Liz Miracle. “People come to me and say ‘I didn’t do my exercises because I couldn’t see what was happening and I didn’t know what was going on,’ so they often just give up.”

By flashing its pink light, vibrating and charting your progress on the app – soon to come complete with games – the KGoal aims to change all that. “It’s like having a gym, a physical therapist and a tracking system in the palm of your hand,” says Lee. Or inside your vagina, as the case may be.

The biggest challenge in developing the product was “fine-tuning the human interface and ergonomics of the device,” Minna Life’s appropriately named Jon Thomas told Wired. “By that I mean the product shape and feel. Because KGoal must fit a wide variety of anatomies, it was a challenge to make the product both functional and comfortable across the full spectrum of our users.”

KGoal: introducing the fitness tracker for your vagina